I. WHAT is it?
It is the experience of inadequacy and self-doubt that results in the fear of being exposed as a ‘fake’ or ‘imposter’. Experiences also include:
· Feelings of self-doubt: We constantly question ourselves, wondering if we’re doing enough and what we can do to keep it going. When things go well, we think that it’s too good to be true; when they go bad, we think that this ending was inevitable.
· Feeling you are not your real self: Taking on things that are out of our comfort zones can make us feel we’re living someone else’s life. There is an air of authenticity – “This is not what I normally do. This doesn’t feel like me.”
· Leaving everything to chance: When things go well or we’re praised for our work, our mind tells us that it’s all a matter of chance and the same outcome would be rare to expect again. Our work is devalued and it’s exhausting to keep at it when we attribute everything to external factors than our abilities.
· Constant Comparisons: Getting selected for a new position, being chosen for that promotion, becoming a new parent are all examples of responsibilities that excite us. However, our inner critic may get us bogged down, telling us we did not deserve it or that others would be able to do it better.
· Fear of failure: The feeling that no matter what we do, we’re going to fail at meeting others’ or our own expectations, can be crippling. The constant strife to reach perfection can result in burnout, stress, depression and anxiety if not tended to.
II. WHAT can we do about it?
Now that we know what the experience of imposter syndrome is like, we need to start changing things up. Here’s how we can begin:
· Reframe our self-talk – The language we use is so important. There needs to be a shift from our critical self to a more kind, compassionate self that allows space for growth. It could mean changing the talk from “I don’t know what I’m doing!” to “I may not be sure but I am ready to learn!”
· Keep learning and building – When we feel we’re out of our depths in new situations or roles, doubting our abilities or knowledge, open up a book or strike up a conversation with someone who has ‘been there, done that’. It allows for greater understanding and helps knowing that others were in similar waters once but sailed through just fine!
· Lean on our support systems – Having the support of others helps combat feelings of inadequacy. Your peers, family, friends, mentors are all people who can share their journeys with you and it would help understand how they got through similar situations. And sharing your thoughts and feelings with them would be helpful as well.
· List and reflect on our strengths – Give credit where credit is due. List out your strengths and channel what makes you, you. It would make you more comfortable in your skin and show you that everyone has their areas of expertise and of development. While it is important to better yourself, it is equally important to celebrate your gifts!
· Remember that perfection is a myth – Accepting that there is no such thing as perfect is often a hard lesson to learn but can be cathartic. It frees us from the pressure we place on ourselves and gives us room to mess up and learn from!