We are often unaware of our people-pleasing tendencies, which makes it difficult to prioritize our emotional well-being. By understanding and addressing this behaviour, we can develop healthier relationship dynamics, reduce anxiety, and improve our overall emotional well-being. Our previous article talked about what people pleasing may look like and how it impacts us and our relationships, here are some ways we can prevent or stop people-pleasing behaviours.
How do we stop people pleasing?
Start small: Often, we may have to work on teaching the people around us to understand our limits. This might involve respectfully declining an invitation or request that you would normally say yes to, but that you know will stretch your limits. By gradually altering your responses, you can begin to assert your boundaries more confidently.
Take a pause: Before agreeing to anything, take a moment to check in with yourself. Consider whether saying yes aligns with your own needs, values, and priorities. It’s okay to take time to think it over rather than giving an immediate response. This pause allows you to make decisions consciously rather than automatically giving in to people-pleasing tendencies.
Recognize our limits and establishing boundaries: It is important to reflect on what your limits are in terms of time, energy, and resources. Communicate these boundaries clearly and assertively with others. Be clear and specific about what and how much you are willing to take on. Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining your well-being and preventing burnout. Practice saying no when necessary, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Use positive self-talk and affirmations: If you start to feel overwhelmed or tempted to cave, remind yourself that you deserve to have time for yourself and say no to things that don’t bring you joy. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that remind you that you should prioritize your own needs.
Talking to a therapist to help identify people-pleasing behaviors: If people-pleasing is interfering with your well-being, talk to a mental health professional. A trained therapist can work with you to help manage your behavior, prioritize your own needs, and establish healthy boundaries.
By Meghna Roy