We have been hit with a terrible wave of infections, and this time, a lot closer to home than ever before. We all respond differently to it – fear, sadness, anger, numbness, frustration, or all of the above. A collective feeling is the sense of helplessness. We do not know what we can do to help, how to ease the pain of our loved ones, how to stay hopeful when everything around us seems to be collapsing. While not a comprehensive list, here are some things to be more mindful of at this time that we hope can foster a sense of peace through the chaos.
Reflect on the guilt – A very common feeling that has been experienced during these times is guilt. We feel bad that we are not doing enough to help. We feel the weight of our privilege on us and worry about the people around us. While it is a noble effort to help, sometimes the guilt may be displaced and we end up reprimanding ourselves over something that is so out of our control. Guilt is helpful as it comes up when we are acting against our values and signals us for a change. Start by asking yourself, “How can my guilt be of service to me here?”. You can then move into, “Are there options I need to be thinking about more?”. If your answer is ‘no’, then it’s time to release the guilt.
Identify what’s within your control – If your answer to the question was ‘yes’, identify what can be done. Wanting to help others is a great service, but it is also essential to understand what exactly you can do for them. For example, should a friend need emotional support, it’s important to be there for them but also recognize when they may need to talk to a mental health professional instead. In our process of helping, we may end up doing more harm if we cannot show up in the capacity that is required by the person. Recognize your strengths and use them in the ways you can.
Channel the restlessness – At a time where we cannot afford to show up for others in person, we may feel restless in just ‘staying put’. Restlessness occurs when we want to do something or be on the move but do not have the option to. This can bring up a lot of frustration and irritability. Try finding ways to channel the feeling by doing something with your body – go for a walk, get some exercise, dance to your favourite song, playing games that involve movement, etc. Make sure to carve out time for self-care.
Limit news – We’ve all heard it before but it is so important to pay heed to. Nowadays, almost every other application on our devices is a form of information-sharing and gathering. The constant influx of news can be detrimental to our mental health. It is important to keep track of what is going on as well as not be apathetic to the needs of those around us. The key is to find a balance that works for you. Perhaps that would include not checking your phone for the first 15 minutes of your day, turning off notifications for certain apps or taking breaks from social media.
Speak Affirmations – Our helplessness leads us to feeling defeated. Affirmations are a great way to help get us through difficult times as a pick-me-up. We may not always have someone to remind us, so let’s start with providing it for ourselves. Examples of affirmations would be: “I may not be able to help everyone but all my efforts are meaningful” and “I can feel both distressed about the situation and grateful for things that I have.”