All of us have been rejected at some point or the other. Whether it’s by a romantic interest, potential employer, unhappy client or friend group, getting rejected can be very painful to experience. It can be a huge blow to our self-esteem and confidence, especially if we predicted a different outcome. While we’re told we need to respond with grace and accept things the way they are, it can be pretty tough. Here are some things to keep in mind for when you feel this way:
Avoid making it personal – More often than not, rejection does not reflect who we are but the ‘fit’ between us and the other. If we are rejected because of something we did, it’s alright to accept it. We don’t need to convince ourselves that we are immune to making mistakes. And even if the rejection is personal, it is okay to remind ourselves that we can handle it and that it doesn’t dictate our worth.
Understand your role – After all the energy and hope we’ve put into an expected result, it can be difficult to let go of what we do not have control over – namely, the choices of others. All we can do is accept responsibility of what is ours (if any) and release control of the rest. Forcing something to go our way usually doesn’t end well.
Take a rain check – It’s alright to feel sad and feel rejected. Remember that these feelings do not last forever and they will not. Don’t rush to making yourself feel better. If there’s anything that you could work on for a better outcome the next time, then that is something that you could focus your energy on. Otherwise, indulge in some self-care activities like journaling your experience, playing some music or taking a stroll around your area.
Accept it happened – This doesn’t come easy. Accepting rejection as the conclusion of something we’ve put so much time and effort into can feel very disheartening. It comes after a period of denial, questioning and blaming of the self and other. Acceptance does not mean that we need to be happy or even okay with the result of our efforts. It means that we acknowledge it took place, integrate it into our lives and decide where we want to go from there.
Don’t lose hope – Rejections are an unfortunate part of our experiences. And so are the breaks we catch when we look to and invite new possibilities. Does that mean we could face rejection again? Yes. Does that mean we could possibly face excitement? Also, yes. Don’t close the door on yourself because you’ll never know what might be.