No one is born with insecurities. They are built over time, usually through a jarring incident or two, or multiple instances of doubt put on us. They tend to be the result of opinions shared by our peers, our family, authority figures, messages we receive from media etc. Fighting them isn’t as easy as these posts can sometimes make them out to be but we do hope that these are helpful pointers to keep in mind as we try:
Exploration – Over time, we build up so much evidence for why an area is an insecurity that it becomes ‘truth’ that cannot be challenged. Getting back to some of those start points could be a great place to unlearn the messages we took from those experiences and learn to replace that with actual evidence that helps us grow through it.
Compassion – It’s not easy to get over things that we’ve carried on for so long. We can’t expect to flip a switch and have our worries gone. Patient, persistent effort is required as it is quite a difficult and, on occasion, painful process. We need to show ourselves the grace and compassion to deal with our triggers, our anxieties, our distorted thoughts and our reactions – all at once. Bottom line: Take it slow and be gentle with yourself!
Challenge – A lot of our insecurities stay on because they aren’t being consistently questioned and we fall into believing what those inner critical voices have to say. Before doing a complete 180 and expecting to always feel great about ourselves, we are to provide the option of a different perspective. Often insecurities think they’ve got it right. We need to interrogate the thoughts to see if they have any validity and how we can instead create healthier, balanced views.
Feedback – When we are in our heads about difficult topics, it’s tough to see things from an unbiased point of view. Talking through it with people we trust to be kind but objective can be great help. Speaking to a counsellor can give us the space to share those insecurities and actively do the inner work needed to work through them.