Self-compassion is the ability to extend compassion onto yourself when you make mistakes or endure suffering. While it may seem fairly simple to comprehend, putting it into practice is where most of us fall short. Often, we are our own worst enemy and berate ourselves when we mess up. Thus, practicing self-compassion is a great way to build more understanding towards ourselves. Here are some small ways you could begin incorporating it into your life:
Daily reminders – These help you acknowledge that you did your best and you need not feel too crushed when you have not met your expectations. The reminders can be practiced at the start or end of your day as a way to remember that no matter how the day turns out, you will extend kindness to yourself.
Include kinder language – Most of us are great at showering others with supportive words and being considerate of their various emotional and mental states if they have been met with a roadblock. We do not judge them and are quick to offer support when we see they would benefit more from it than harsh critique. The start to being more self-compassionate could be by borrowing the language you use for others and use it for yourself for a change.
Combat self-critical thoughts – Our thoughts have the power to push us to do things we set out to do, as well as to keep us from even trying. While our thoughts are not facts, the meaning we attach to them shape our perspective on situations. Self-critical thoughts may blind us to our own suffering, where we expect ourselves to do the impossible in the midst of difficult times. Using more self-compassionate statements like “I’m trying my best right now and that is enough” can be a better source of internal motivation to perform.
Leave room for growth – Self-compassion is not an excuse to be lazy or run from challenges when they seem hard. It is acknowledging that a situation will be tough and knowing that it may not turn out the way you would like, but that you will give it your best shot. Striking the balance of self-compassion and self-criticism gives you the middle ground of growth – you are not as hard on yourself when you do not get it right and you are not indulgent of every whim that comes to you. This is the sweet spot in working towards your goals.