We all have close friends or family members who experience distress, and oftentimes, it can be frustrating and difficult to know how to help. Here are a few steps you can take to ensure you provide the support needed for them to feel better:
1. Learn more about their struggles: Every problem is different and will require different care. Having an idea of what route of recovery to expect can go a long way in ensuring you are able to give your loved one the support they need. Make sure you get this information from reliable sources – talking to their therapist, other people who have gone through similar experiences, or trustworthy online sources like psychology today are some good options.
2. Engage in healthy dialogue: Don’t forget to communicate directly with your loved one! Asking simple, open questions is better than making assumptions about what they may be experiencing. Remember that they may not be comfortable or willing to share with you at all times. Offer your support, give them the opportunity to talk to you, and let them know you’re there to help if needed. Be wary of pushing too much or causing them discomfort.
3. Avoid diminishing their struggles: Saying generalized things like “You just need to stop being so negative” or “Everyone has bad days!” can make your loved one feel misunderstood and does not offer them the support they need. Allow them to share how they feel and try not to judge or brush off anything they choose to share with you. Avoid saying things that might come off as criticizing, hostile, or patronizing towards them.
4. Set realistic expectations: Remember to keep your expectations of their improvement realistic – there are likely to be many ups and downs, setbacks, and unexpected turns in someone’s journey and it can get frustrating! Be patient with the process and know the limits of what you can do to help. This can ensure you don’t overextend yourself and face disappointments when results are slow and unpredictable.
5. Take care of yourself: Often, friends and family members, particularly immediate caregivers, can become so wrapped up in supporting their loved one that they neglect their own emotional and physical health. Remember to check in with yourself, and don’t hesitate to visit a counsellor if you need to.
6. Encourage your loved one to get help: Look out for common signs that your loved one may be struggling. If you are worried about them, the first step is to have an honest conversation with them and encourage them to talk to a mental health professional. Make sure to listen attentively and avoid being accusatory – be respectful and empathetic to how they interpret their symptoms. Be aware of the level of risk involved as well. In more urgent situations, where they are suicidal or engaging in self harm, they may require hospitalization.
Even if you are unsure if your love, support, and efforts are making a difference to your loved one, it is likely to be far more effective than you realize. Although you may feel helpless at times, and they may resist your support, it is important to maintain a positive outlook and have hope.
Written by Sanaya Katrak