Dealing with comparisons is hard. Your way of dealing with it could be a smile through clenched teeth or a half genuine one accompanied by a sinking feeling. On one hand, you’re happy for the person who seems to be doing a lot better than you are, but on the other hand, you feel bitter at the unfairness of it all. If left unchecked, comparisons steal your happiness and leave you with feelings of resentment.
Here’s how you can try getting off the comparison train:
· Understand where it’s coming from – The emotion behind comparison is jealousy. Its ugly but it’s trying to tell you something. Find out what it is. See if you need more or less of it in the moment. Figure out how you can tend to yourself best.
· Surround yourself with people who encourage you – Being around people who focus on comparisons (eg. debates on who has the latest fashion or is the best looking) can be draining. These conversations about what the others have that you don’t is unhealthy and leads to resentment. Instead, surround yourself with people who encourage your personal growth, the ones who will hold you to a high standard.
· Remember that life is not a race – People only flaunt the good times and rarely show the struggle that came with it. Every journey is unique and comparing yours with another’s only leads to a pointless waste of energy. Instead, try learning from others and not beat yourself up in the bargain.
· Do a 180° and celebrate instead – Confusing jealousy by, instead, rejoicing over another’s achievement can be quite fulfilling as you recognize their own journey of ups and downs. By behaving the opposite, you also don’t leave much room for envy!
· Go on a social media detox – Social media constantly leaves us comparing ourselves to all the happy and good looking people reflected on our phone screens. Having constant reminders of the successful bits of peoples’ lives can fuel this comparison. A social media detox helps; focusing on real life helps you understand that life is not a thrill a minute and we all go through ups and downs.
· Practice Gratitude – This is an incredibly helpful practice, especially when you are dying to wallow in your failures or desiring everything you don’t have. When we focus our energy on making the most on what we do have – our abilities, relationships, spirituality, etc. – we see that there is a lot more to life than _(insert the topic of comparison)_. A good way to begin is to notice three things that you’re thankful for daily.